the main reason..

and now.. i've finally come to the real reason why i set up this blog.. i wanted to write about this.. too paiseh to tell anyone abt it mah..

and ha.. i just couldnt bring myself to writing it until now.. which is weird isn't it... too paiseh to post this on the blog as well.. stupid.. no one's even reading this lor... ok.. i think this is a bad time lah.. my whole post is filled with singlish.. and why is that so.. cos i just read the xiaxue's blog.. it's so filled with singlish that i'm just totally infected...

and yes.. getting into the zhu3 ti2.. (whatever that is in English..)
i'm kinda like suspecting that there's this guy in my class that's showing this certain bit of interest in me.. but well... as i have rationally reasoned it out.. this is probably very much my spinster instincts acting up.. or should i say.. my spinster 'paranoia'/suspicions (can someone pls get me a thesaurus??)

and of course the word paranoia doesn't fit into this context.. i just mean to say this is one of my err... 'hypersensitivities' (there... another word that i don't understand and i'm trying to use.. blame this on my pathetic vocab..) and as i was saying.. not paranoia.. cos well.. i'm not exactly turned off by the fact that.. err... not fact.. idea that this xxx is interested in me.. haha.. well obviously bcos this xxx ain't too bad a catch la..

it'll be nice if it's true la.. then it'll be byebye to sitting on the shelf!!
but then again, there are all these things that point to the other side of this idea... i.e. this is all an illusion..
why so.. cos i've already had this feeling last sem.. as in this feeling that i think he kinda is showing some interest la... but then of course there's my super dao demeanour and everything that i think will put off anyone who doesn't know me well enough.. and yah.. now is THIS SEM. and between this sem and last sem was 3 mths of break.. how could it last for so long rite? (i'm sure i'm one of the only few 'chi1 qing2' idiots around)

that aside, the main thing being that i heard from certain sources that he's got a gf liaoz.. yeah.. dunno if the source is accurate.. but well.. that just kills off everything..

and while i'm writing this.. i'm carrying on this conversation with my friend about internships.. and job offers... i see a bleak future in front of me.. sighz.. what a thing to happen now.. all bad things happening at the same time.. or rather, just a lack of good things happening lahz...

ah well.. back on topic...

what was i saying... oh yah.. the gf.. and yah.. he's this kinda extroverted person.. so i should suppose he talks to everyone like nobody's business.. so ya know.. whatever little conversations we had prob don't point to anything at all..

kowz.. the more i write the more it seems like i have a crush on him.. NO!! i think i'm just being nuts lah.. trying to prove that there's someone out there that's interested in this item on the shelf.. ya know. . it's feels nice to be valued.. haha...

and i was thinking... all my 'paranoia' is probably all wrong la.. as seen by my previous rather pathetic (yes i'm using this word again... i DO need a thesaurus) experience.. bad interpretations.. and probably driven by desperation.. or deprivation for that matter...

but hey.. how many ppl will start a conversation with a qns like this... "eh.. u got presentation today?" (or something of the sort la), when i'm obviously wearing presentation attire.. ok... i suppose ms spinster over here regards this as a try-to-make-conversation line.. but maybe he's just trying to be nice and err.. interactive... i dunno.. but as usual, i'm too straightforward for anything.. i was like thinking 'duh', but well.. i was tactful enough not to say that.. so i said... 'obviously..' err.. which actually doesn't differ much from duh.. ha.. and that... will jus put any potential err.. interested parties off..

i dun really have very many other pieces of evidence to support my case la.. but well.. it's just this feeling that i get from talking to him.. (no we don't talk v often) and as flea puts it, well, why him and not anyone else?

and so i shall await further err.. lessons before i gather more evidence... til then.. i shall concentrate on achieving my honors.. sighz..