revelation

while we're all fretting over what kinda job we'll end up in, i was at the same time very worried about whether i've set my sights on the wrong thing.. investment banking, though prestigious, obviously involves alot of hard work and after awhile, i thought it mite not exactly be what i'm looking for in life... (and well of course this was fueled by my rejection by DB)

Mr Tsunesaburo Makiguchi taught that there are 3 kinds of value: beauty, benefit and good. In teh working world, beauty means to find a job you like; the value of benefit is to get a job that earns you a salary that can support your daily life; and the value of good means to find a job that helps others and contributes to society.

I guess at the moment, the value of benefit lies at the top of my priorities.. In fact, that's my definition of what a good job is.. anything that pays well is good..
But i've also come to realise that it's pretty important to find a job that I like.. after all, it's gonna be at least 9-5pm everyday that i will haf to be facing it..

I'm not in a noble enough state to want to do good with my job yet.. in fact, i'm so heartless that i don't care.. if i manage to satisfy the first 2, it'll be perfect enough liao.. well of course if it's something I like and contributes to society as well.. all the better...

and so amidst all my worries, it suddenly dawned on me that it is definitely important to derive joy from my work.. which is why i suddenly also realise why people actually list job satisfaction as one of the criteria in looking for a job.. hmm... which brings me back to one of my considered paths in life... working in a video rental shop... hahaha...

recently i'm back on my tv craze.. too free la.. no homework to do.. so i've been watching tv all day... and it's always times like this that i feel extra lost..when the last show ends and there're no more programs on tv, i get this lost feeling.. im suddenly thrown back into the real world where there are real problems to face, no homework to do, but exams approaching; fyp to do but since it's not due yet i'm like just super procrastinating; choreography for dances, but i'm just trying to shirk it onto someone else; 2 girls i need to encourage, but i'm just too bothered with myself to care about them; and plenty more..

and so i've decided to make myself more focused.. i'll just continue praying, while i try to do my best for the exams this sem... that's all i will do.. dun bother about jobs and stuff...

OHMYGAWD!! i just realised that the accenture resume is due on the 31st and i havent written my cover letter! and it's the 25th already!! time really flies.. guess i realli gotta do it tmr...

dun wanna sleep

ahh.. this is absolutely stupid... im kinda tired now.. what with the recent late nights and stress.. but i just refuse to sleep! it's finally friday! and i finally have a day where i dun have to bother about what time i wake up tomorrow.. so i'm absolutely not gonna sleep early today..

well, i've been spending my time reading other ppl's blogs.. jus visited chief jiao's blog.. and well.. bcos the words were so tiny i decided not to read it after all.. haha.. but well.. one thing i can say is that it's definitely littered with lotsa f-words... ALOT in fact... i think there's at least one per sentence.. haha...

and well.. staying awake certainly isn't a good thing.. cos i'm now reminded of the 304 grades that are gonna come back next week.. here's what i got so far... C for presentation.. 3/10 for the quiz, which i reckon is an F... yes F... F in all senses of the word.. (or should I say letter..) and umm... probably F for participation too.. if not Z... so as u can see... my current average hovers somewhere around E... which is nowhere near a pass... but well.. i'm still hou lian pi hoping for a B...

haven't gone out for good food in ages.. i miss pasta.. and cheesecakes.. well my made did cook pasta today.. macaroni with chicken n mushrooms.. not too bad.. but well... macaroni is one pasta i dun really like... i think i would have been happier if it was spaghetti or linguine.. ah well..

and i was watching tuo qiang shi jie just now.. the chen xiaosheng was put on this diet thingy and he had hardly anything nice to eat.. haha.. i felt somewhat like him.. he was mentioning stuff like lobster... *slurp* .. plus all sorts of delicious seafood..

now i'm just waiting for exams to be over.. and then i'll go on my high tea spree... kow.. my fullerton trip has been postponed from last year til now!! ahh.. if only my maid could bake.. just like what u read in enid blyton's books.. the moms or cooks will bake tarts and all sorts of treats for tea.. and the children will fight over them.. treacle pudding and what not... ooh...

think i'll go look for something to eat now...

zi zuo cong ming

well... i really was too smart for myself this time round... today's tax quiz, as my tutor put it, was the easiest quiz we've had so far.. yes.. i gotta agree.. certain questions were so plain that the answers were just sticking right out... but well... i THOUGHT he was gonna be tricky.. and so... to my undoing... i tried to be SMART.. sighz.. in a way it wasn't entirely my fault la.. cos i realli remembered him saying sometihng.. and that something made me pick the wrong answer... (ok fine.. im shifting the blame to him..)

well.. i had at least 4 or 5 mistakes la.. and im really just bu shuang with this one... even though it's just one mark out of 15, which makes up 10% of the final grade, it's the PRINCIPLE behind it.. i mean.. it was one answer which i thought HAD to be correct.. and i was like, haha! i got around his trick..

ah well.. i guess i'll just have to face it.. which is why im writing this down even though i've already complained about it to another 2 MSs.. hopefully i'll put it aside and leave it here..

cool! i jus checked my mail and yanzi's new song "wo de ai" is damn nice! ok la.. not that that nice... but it's got a nice mtv.. filmed in france! im so awaiting her new album.. and of course the karaoke vcd as well.. haha..

and i wanna write this down before i forget... deutsche bank has sent out their letters! but they din send me! yes... this is something i need to remember.. so here it is... haha

and the exams are drawing oh-so-near.. but well... im not in the mood yet! i shall now try to find stuff to download..

adios!

reply

this post is kinda funny cos... im sorta replying to msP here.. well... for one.. this is finally an update.. heh.. and well.. seems like we got the same goals! 2As 1B.. different targets though... (rite? u're B-ing 306... mine's 304... yeah.. i think my 304 can't really make it...)

and whoa.. it's been like... 4 days since i felt so free.. free meaning nothing to do... it's a tuesday today.. and i had only 2 hours of lessons... zhenzhu decided to push the seminar to thursday.. (great! which means one no more breaks to spend alone..)

filled up the rest of my application forms... for the big4.. and i decided that a cover letter wouldn't be necessary.. (aiya.. they are employing 600 out of 700 ppl.. i cant be so suay rite..) *oh and as im writing this i have my hair worn in a ponytail.. and that made me realise how long my hair has grown.. haha.. cos now the ponytail can touch my neck...*

and for now i only have 2 more applications to fill... MAS and Accenture... and that's not due until 31st Oct... ha..

but i actualli DO have work to do now.. stuff for thursday.. both seminars.. and i think it's a lot of work.. and i should actually try to do them now.. cos I won't have much time on thursday to study for the quiz on friday.. which means i should study for it on wednesday.. which means i wont have time on wed to do the tut.. meaning i should jus stop writing now and go on to my tuts.. aargh.. but i just can't bring myself to do it..

and it's not as if i'm writing anything constructive here.. nothing of literary worth.. but it's a nice feeling to jus keep moving my fingers on the keyboard.. type type type type type...

haha

and just to make this announcement a lil official, i'm celebrating my birthday this year.. and umm.. it's probably on 4dec.. it's a saturday by the way.. but subject to confirmation la.. cos gotta see whether my dad can make it back.. otherwise it'll prob be on the 27th of Nov.. (which is kinda sian cos i dun wanna celebrate in the wrong month!!)

2 years ago i attended my fren's 21st bday party... her bf was there too.. haha.. so i was wondering if i'd haf anyone with me on MY bday.. well.. apparently not.. umm.. there's still one month plus left though... haha..

and i just got interrupted by this guy who came to deliver a whiteboard... WTH! dunno why my mom ordered it... wth is it for.. and it freaking costs 70 plus bucks.. and the best thing is my mom isnt at home... and im perpetually broke... siao.. nearly got into trouble paying for it.. luckily i had 50 bucks in my drawer and there was another 20 plus dollars with my maid, leftover from marketing.. kow.. dunno why my mom is so irresponsible.. and wth is she doing at my aunt's house man...

sigh.. i think i'll go find some chocolate to relieve my frustration...

kow!!!

BL**DY HELL!! THE PRINTERS AT MY HOME SUCK TO THE MAX!!!

disappointing!

sighz.. jus bought this nail polish from i nuovi.. at first i thought it was THE color.. the color that i've been looking for for ages.. a maroon looking shade.. a sort of royal purple.. tested it at the sasa shop.. looked ok.. but after i stepped out.. GOODNESS! it's the wrong shade! it's jus a deep sorta red.. sighz.. i thought my search was finally over.. but NO.. and wasted my ten bucks.. eeek!

but i gotta give credit to it for being gd quality nail varnish la.. i mean.. ten bucks is worth the quality.. it claims to be high shine.. and it is.. and it's got a gd brush.. it's short and firm.. so the strokes are v defined.. and the best thing is the color is v strong so one coat suffices.. but still... IT'S THE WRONG COLOR!

ah well..

october 13th is the day!

today is the day! probation period's over! i can take my triangle plate off liao!!

so fun...

yesterday was a nice day! everything jus went sorta 'right'.. err... other than the mini glitch of forgetting to bring the CORRECT set of lec notes for tax...

but after tax... i went wisma with my mom to get my blazer swapped for the correct size.. (but no choice gotta take the piece on the rack.. last pc...), then got my pants altered... ate rojak for lunch.. (been craving it for a couple of days... finally fulfilled my wish.. but the rojak stall at PS is weird... they put kangkong into it... )

and then it was piano lesson.. i thot i'd be dead for sure... i didn't practise... and kow the piece wasn't exactly easy.. but when i went there.. the piano teacher was just going on and on about his son... so i just sat there and listened.. ha.. in fact.. i was there for almost an hour even though my lesson is only 30mins... which was a gd thing actually... cos later on i had to take mrt home... and JUST NICE.. my mom called... said she could pick me up from newton.. GREAT! (maybe not so great la... i thought i could get some exercise walking home.. so in the end... zero exercise this week...)

then it was prep for NN... first time i'm putting on the full set of makeup.. foundation, blush, lipstick, eyeshadow.. hmm.. maybe not so full.. there's supposed to be eyebrows and eyeliner and wat haf u... but it was fun nonetheless... haha... now i'm like super into makeup... and am trying to find the perfect way to do it.. think i overdid the foundation yesterday.. still trying to find the right way to make eye shadow VISIBLE.. and blah blah blah...

NN itself wasn't anything fun as usual.. jus as we came in, the super-on SMRT ppl caught us and made us stand there for half an hour... (think detention..) i was trying v hard not to fidget... best thing of the night was MAS.. apparently the starting pay for girls is 2550 la! *eyes shine brightly-- kaching!*

but as usual.. this is conditional upon 2nd uppers.. as is everything else.. and i guess now i gotta take what the MAS sweeties said abt our grades with a pinch of salt.. (still keeping my hopes high though..)

anw.. the fun part was post-NN activity... we went NYDC at Holland V.. msN, ms P, and ms tyrant.. so fun! haha.. i dunno why la.. but i like putting my friends together.. i think it's quite nice to have my friends knowing each other... and from the conversations yesterday, i think all can click.. (Rite??)

haven't had such fun group 'discussions' in ages.. hey ppl.. must go out more kkkkk... (oh i jus realised that was supposed to be the last pre-exam outing... ok... after exams then!) ha actually now i'm quite excited about going for the next 2 talks... (oh sharks... still havent submitted my resumes yet... ok nemind.. ) but i think i like wearing office wear! haha.. got this superior feel to it..

and i gotta say that this makeup that i bought is kinda good la.. cos for once my face din look worse after i cleaned it off... in fact.. i think it mite've looked better.. well.. this is supposed to be 'skincare cosmetics' la.. but i din expect it to do what it claims.. (yes.. too many skin products have failed me...)

ah anw i'll jus stop here for now.. gotta go eat my breakfast..

nnight

ok... realised i haven't been visiting my blog in some time.. and this font color is SO NICE! but so light that i have a problem trying to read it myself... tips to read this: highlight the text by dragging ur mouse over them... ha

anw.. it was networking night yesterday.. a very boring one at that... we were jus like moving from booth to booth to can1 guan1 various career exhibits... no networking involved... it was very much like an exhibition... and we move around like we do in tour groups.. then at each station there'll be a someone explaining the stuff there..

basically it's just boring la.. i should say the best part was the dinner... they got themselves a pretty gd caterer... they had this prawn in tomato sauce thingy.. (the tomato sauce was rather spaghetti sauce tasting..) and there was this absolutely delicious fish fillet in some kinda sauce.. ahh.. i dunno how to describe.. but the sauce was somewhat spicy, salty and a little sour... there's more to say la.. but now i gotta go for the goldman sachs talk liao.. need to bathe!!

b4 i sleep

well ten minutes ago i said i was going to sleep.. but i didn't... went to read someone's blog.. and then decided to come write my own.. a short one before i finally go to bed.. and well.. reading the someone's blog has almost become my daily activity... (yes! i am this boliao..) but i gotta say that the blog is written quite well lah.. it's somewhat like reading gabriel's emails.. new vocab learnt everytime.. haha.. but of course this one isn't as cynical nor bombastic as gabriel's.. but it's more fun to read..

and prior to this i just finished submitting my application to the rather prestigious BUT cold DB.. kow it took me like damn long to write la.. they have this standard form to fill in.. and besides that i had to write a cover letter as well.. which was actually very much cut n paste from the form.. but that took me time anyway..

i was also trying to spruce up my resume.. very pathetic looking.. quite demoralising actually, especially when u don't have any cool ecas or leadership achievements to display.. and my life's so pathetic that i had no choice but to include what i think was my best achievement in life.. o levels.. (which wasn't spectacular anyhow..) oh and of course.. after much deliberation i also decided to include the fact that i was in PEG... (desperate bid to look smart and capable)

i don't care liao... i kinda realised that in this world, impressions really do matter... you can't just wait for ppl to come discover how good u are, or wait for them to come over to ask u if u need help.. u gotta just do things yourself.. and to attain certain goals, developing a thicker layer of epidermis is inevitable.. ANW, the appln doesn't require a photo... no one's ever gonna know... ha..

but well... the description of the interview rounds is damn scary.. read it for yourself..
www.db.com/careers

and while my dermis thickens, i'm gonna apply for the hsbc program when they put it up online.. heck my previous rejected application...

and for now.. i can only hope n pray that i'll land myself in the right job.. and sweet dreams... =)