Life changing moments

Goodness.. it's been a good 2 years since I last wrote..
Many things have happened..

Now preparing for Spring V... it's coming up soon on Mar 17 2012!!

I've been with DD for abt 5 months now..

On 6th March he gave me a very significant present..

I will write more about that in a dedicated post.. (very significant indeed)

And ya! I think the question in my profile has now been answered!

Life has changed..

New determinations

I wasn't in too good a mood when I left work yesterday.
Many happenings this week that caused me to be thinking alot more.
(I've already been thinking so much that white hairs abound my head of now-rebonded hair)

Seems like there's some scheming and politicking going on and work.. But that didn't bother me too much.. Just take things easy. As long as I choose not to be part of this game, then there'll be no winner or loser.

Work aside, the thing that irked me the most was that we've lost eye contact.
Told IB about it.. and she said.. Move on!
It kinda struck me.. made me wonder if this is the sign that I was looking for. Something to tell me to give up.. I dunno, but at the same time, there's this thing about not giving up so easily..

I got that empty feeling that happened every time I finished watching the last episode of some blockbuster drama serial. It's like.. what next?

Trying to keep my head clear, I rushed off to my next meeting. Yestnite was the 1st Ikeda kayokai meeting in SG.

I'm quite glad that I attended it. They had 3 YWDs sharing their testimonials. Girls in their teens, twenties and thirties. (I'm going to briefly summarize their stories here, as a reminder to myself)

Firstly, there was S, a teenage girl who managed to introduce a whole lot of new friends to chanting. It was through her passion of really wanting to share this Buddhism with others that gave her very many chances to meet many people who were willing to take up faith almost immediately. (I used to see her around and didn't have a good impression of her cos she always had this smoky eye look even during the day.. haha) But ya, 人不可貌相!

I was reminded to never doubt the Gohonzon, no matter what happens. It suddenly made me feel slightly ashamed of myself for being troubled over trivial matters such as my job (like wat.. lousy increment)

Secondly, there was F, who just completed her education in Japan. Struggled through various difficulties in order to finance her studies in Japan. All of these, to fulfil her dream. It's like wow.. these girls are all struggling to fulfil these great dreams of wanting to change people's lives, praying very hard to excel in their lives, while I'm bothered with some very silly matters like a stupid crush.

Third was M, a lady who lost all her money in a failed business venture. Taught her that life won't always be as smooth-sailing as you want, but mostly importantly, your family will get you thru it.

Most impt takeaway was for me to continue praying hard that the best outcome will surface. And it will.

To renew my determination each day, and to score daily victories. Victory in whatever I do, overcoming all weaknesses. I realised that though I've been maintaining my daily 1 hour of prayer, my resolve has been slowly diminishing. And for nearly the whole of this week, it's been mindless chanting, mainly focusing on how sleepy I was, and when will the sand from the hourglass stop flowing..

I am now determined to ensure that every day is filled with happiness. Happiness that is gained from 'bigger' things. Such as the fulfillment of learning and sharing with others.

I must gain absolute happiness in my life!

More weddings..

Haha! I'm blogging really often now.
Just read through my previous post and realised that I've been writing really short sentences.
Very fragmented. But well, it represents whatever that's flowing thru my head at that point of time. Short bursts of 'ideas'.

Just came back not too long ago from P's wedding in JB. Was a long day today!
We gathered at the bus interchange at around 11.30, and only reached the restaurant at around 1.30pm. Banquet started at around 2-2.30pm. (The folks around me were all starving and gobbled down the door gift of a cookie and chocolates.. haha)

Quite interesting to be out with a bunch of colleagues on a weekend, actually. Also kinda helped that all of us were around the same age. There was non-stop chatter on the bus, and at the restaurant. Not bad! Now I quite understand why some of my friends have these all-week-colleagues-outings (i.e. going out together after work plus during the weekends!!)

When P and W were exchanging 'vows' (not quite vows, but more like, lifelong promises of dedication), I was asking 'I' and Y if this was probably the only time a couple would say such things to each other. ('I' said yes! haha) Well, I used to think that these words were oh-so-cliched but really, these pledges of love mean the world to a couple. (And as Y rightfully pointed out, these realizations come with AGE.)

[out of topic: I'm now eating this char siew bo lo bao which i bought yesternoon. Was supposed to be for this morning's breakfast but I didn't have enough time to eat it.. I'm bringing this up now cos.. this bun was supposed to be damn good.. but after leaving it for nearly 24hrs, err.. still edible.. but it has lost all the warm and fluffy texture that I was looking for when I bought it yesterday.. such a disappointment!]

Update on X: still exchanging looks, with nothing else happening.. dunno what the h***'s going on.. Was a little frustrated during the week actually.. Now having daily conversations with 'I' about my very annoying situation.

The weekdays are coming again!

Bored

Okay.. I think I'm going to turn this into a regular habit. Of blogging during work.
This is another period of waiting.. Systems are not up and I cannot proceed.

So what should I write about? Blogging for the sake of keeping my fingers busy. Haha.

OK.. So recently on Tuesday I went to visit the doctor cos of gastric pains. Had a bit of pain on Monday which I ignored.

It recurred on Tuesday.
After lunch. Weird rite.

So doc said it was gastric reflux. I'm not too sure of his diagnosis, cos I didn't experience heartburn.
But I do have all the other symptoms.. Awful feeling in the stomach after lunch, regular sore throats from a probably too acidic environment.

So he gave me 5 days worth of medication, supposedly to be taken before food.
But as this has already become a rather common ailment for me, I decided not to take the medicine at all.
Reduce dependency!

But as it seems, he was right.. I've been getting this gastric pains almost after every meal after I went to see the doc.

And then I end up eating the medicine AFTER food.
Maybe I should just listen to what he says and start eating the pills BEFORE food, and save myself the discomfort.

*ill feeling in the stomach right now*

On a side note, I left half a cup of soybean milk on desk yesterday, overnight.
This morning when I tried to empty the drink into a sink, I COULDN'T.
The milk had coagulated into curd!

I was super surprised.. How could the sugar syrup cause coagulation?
Went to google beancurd but didn't manage to find anything relating to sugar-caused curdling.
Maybe there's some other agent in the milk, or perhaps fermentation (overnight?) that caused it..

Oh and supposedly normal curd is coagulated using calcium sulphate.

2010

hellO!

I think I'm blogging a lot more often than I thought I did.. last post was barely a quarter ago! And here's my contribution for the new year :)


well.. felt this compelling need to write when I thought abt this..
so.. what?

just a couple of days ago I picked up my phone and sms-ed my friend Happy Birthday. Her 27th.
Ah. This meant that I was twenty-seven too! It didn't help that I only just had my 26th birthday a month ago.. I was 27. I AM 27.

Aargh! 27. Without a doubt, this was a number that rounds directly off to 30.
I realise my previous post was about age too. Ya. So I get this recurring 'getting old' feeling. Not good.

And so what's the big deal about getting older?

I guess the main issue here is what I've done with my life so far..
Doesn't quite help that
1. No accomplishments in my career
2. Still single
3. Still don't know what I really want in life

(as I'm typing this I'm crunching on these wasabi crackers. 2cm by 2cm square biscuits with wasabi powder. Quite nice! My bro bought this from Osaka last December. only a mth ago ok.)

Was a long day for me today..
this morning I visited the dentist at 9am.
Good piece of news.. My upper teeth are closing well, almost done. He says they should be done by my next visit, Feb 20th, after CNY. Lower teeth.. still WIP. Good news is.. I can remove the braces off my upper teeth then! YAY! no more food stuck there.. No more ugly popping brackets. And no more snapping rubber bands! YAY! I think this marks 2 years of wearing braces.. Dunno about my lower teeth man.. The initial plan was 1.5 years. I think my lower teeth will take 2.5. Minimum.

Then I visited the chiropractor at 1130am. My .. 4th visit?
Damn expensive. this one..
Had initially gone there cos of this sharp pain at my lower back.. Was kinda worried after it jabbed me a few times.. So went to this chiropractor at my mom's recommendation. Turns out that my spine was indeed crooked.. But more so at the neck.. which supposedly explains all the headaches neck aches and shoulder aches I've been suffering from for the past ten or more years.. (wah freak.. damn old liao la!)

Prob with this treatment is that I've to attend it 3 times a week for 3 mths.. Super damn time consuming.. Cos there're alotta ppl at the clinic, each visit takes me at least an hour. The actual adjustment takes abt 10-15 mins. The rest of it is waiting time.

My Saturdays are now screwed cos of this.. First... I had to reschedule my dental appt (initially set for 12pm) cos the doc only comes between 11am and 1pm. Then I had to resched my facial appt (next sat). Same problem. I've been scheduling all of my stuff at around 11am-12pm and now it all clashes. Ah well.

Oh and having had permed hair for the past half a year, I've decided to straighten it back!!
Prob is I dunno whether I should do it before or after CNY.
Initially thot I should hold out til CNY cos I've had straight-hair CNYs for my entire life. But on the other hand, my mom was saying new hair for the new year! And it doesn't help that my hair is growing longer by the day.. It's now top straight bottom curly. Not v nice. Plus its kinda out of shape now. Aargh. I dunno how ppl manage to keep their perm for 1 whole year.

What I'm saying is not that the perm won't last.. my hair's still as curly as ever.. ok.. maybe not THAT curly. but good enough. Main prob is the LENGTH. It's damn long now, and the shape is gone. Almost poodle-like. Large mass of frizzy hair at the bottom and lousy flat hair on top.

I'll blog again when I decide on when to rebond. Went to a shop just now to buy more hair products.. Managed to get the Tsubaki shampoo at $16!!! Parallel import. Other places selling at $28!! I think damn good buy la. Bought pantene hair treatment at $6! Normal price $9. Woohoo! Then bought this anti-frizz serum for $15. Normal price $15 I think. This was a bad buy.. but no choice.. I needed something.. And I din quite dare to try the Sunsilk damaged hair repair leave-in which only cost $3.60. (I think also half of normal price)

And so now I have like 4 bottles of shampoo in my bathroom. My Loreal citrus shine shampoo doesnt seem to have the 'luck' of being used.. been sitting in my bathroom since.. September? Or earlier. Redken Fresh Curls seems to have lost its power.. I've maybe 1/8 bottle left.. Oh. and correction. Loreal nutrigloss light shampoo. Not citrus shine. Dunno how I came up with that name. Is citrus shine the name of some dishwashing liquid??

OH YAH. I saw Carmee Lim at my carpark just now.. Dunno come here for wat. Looks like somebody's party at the poolside. She was wearing a sleeveless top plus sunglasses. V sporty looking. V young looking for her age. Dunno how she does it. She's like I dunno how old. More than 60 definitely. I think she was 60 during my time. i.e. 10 years ago. Not sure.

And now I shall get back to work. Came online to do my translation work for tmr's morning gongyo.

SO SEE U!

ok. no see u yet.
just remembered that I wanna record some event down :)

I kinda have a crush on this guy.. Erm. X.
Well after like 2 mths of exchanging looks.. nothing has happened.. So yah. prob nothing will happen.
Anw.. yesterday when I was leaving, we left at the same time.. He was leaving with his fren.. So they were walking down the corridor.. I was behind.. Say 2-3 m away.. Towards the glass door, they exited, and he held the door. For awhile. Cos I was far away mah. Took me a while to walk there.. So he held it for like say.. 5-10 secs la. Not v long. But long enough for me to feel good! haha. Cos his fren was already out the door. He could jolly well have just walked out too la. But he held it open! Albeit back-facing.. cos he was talking to his fren.. But still v nice! And then I recounted another door holding incident. Perhaps 1 mth back? Same circumstance.. We left around the same time.. As usual I was behind. Cos I walk slow. But definitely a considerable distance away. OK from inside, I can already see ppl entering the lift. I was inside. He was outside. Then he entered the lift with everyone else, I was still inside, near the glass door. I kinda tried to rush out abit.. And ya. He held the lift door open.

Well. The reason why I'm bringing up these 2 incidents is cos .. though I know holding the door is just something anyone with manners would do, these 2 occasions were very-long holding of doors. Not the normal 1-2 seconds, everyone entering at the same time kind. It's the, I'm obviously some distance away and can don't bother about me kinda distance..

Doesn't mean anything, other than the fact that he's nice. :)

Hope got updates!

Oh ya.. Read some horoscope fengshui thingy. 2010 is an excellent year for pigs. Other than having financial luck, supposedly for singles, romance will blossom.

Muahaha!

Office

hey guess what? I'm surprised I can access this from the office! I'm officially bored.
:)

september

im back! felt this compelling need to write this post after i read my last one.. so i bought the samsung omnia! not fantastic.. kinda 'sot' after i dropped it on the floor.. and im in this dilemma of whether to send it for repair or not.. (can't be bothered to back up my contacts, but at the same time afraid of losing them.. ah the power of laziness!!)

time has zooooomed passed in the recent years.. kinda scary actually.. i'm past a quarter century old now and speeding towards the big 3! was just telling BL yesterday that I'm afraid my life will just fly past without my knowing.. and without having accomplished anything! ah I'm beginning to realise the importance of creating value in my life.. (say only.. i hope i do it..)

am supposed to be watching coco before chanel with the kot girls in a while.. 2 hrs later to be exact.. at vivocity! ah. i guess this is how people write their blogs. they mention real stuff and real places and talk about stuff that they do.. (not that I don't talk about real stuff, but generally I choose not to mention names or reveal too much private information lest my identity gets exposed.. haha.. kinda paiseh if someone I don't know too well reads the stuff I write la.)

for purposes of jogging my memory..

now facing this phase at work where i don't feel much for whatever I do any more.. (not that I ever felt for it either) but i'm beginning to feel rather sian and considering my options.. well.. chances of moving up has greatly diminished.. i would say i have already given up on it.. there is no longer any more motivation at work.. was considering moving to another entity. :) same position with new stuff to learn.. i guess i won't be losing out on anything.. i hope.

but 2 dinners ago, JC mentioned that there is this opening in his wife's firm! free parking space ;) sounded like a gd opportunity and i have a good mind of trying it out .. but at the same time i'm still extremely curious about this year's increment and bonus, and might have to stay until YE in order to find that out.. ah.. curiosity..

so yup.. a couple of things for me to consider now..
and i recently made a pledge to do all I can for Kot and kosenrufu so that i can graduate by next year.. and just when i did that, i started getting distracted by some silly matters which shifted my focus.. such a waste of time.. i can't believe i have this little self-control...

this morning while doing my prayers i suddenly recognised that the distraction could actually be sanshoshima.. obstacles in disguise.. (transformers!) so i've decided to renew my determination (when i have barely started) and get myself back on the starting track..

ahhhh.

and so i shall end here and start typing the minutes we had for planning on 31/8! see you (me) again :)